Updated: Apr 30
No one gets to where they want all by themselves, even when the phrase “self-made” is used, it’s likely that the person with that title leaned in on other people for support. As an ambitious mother, you will probably come across many challenges when trying to raise a family as well as chase a goal of yours, so in today’s post, I will be pointing out the 4 different types of people you will need in your corner, as well as sharing ideas on how you can build the best support network to help you achieve anything you want in life.
When reading a lot of self-help books, one message that keeps on popping up is that the quality of your life is related to the quality of your relationships, so I will start off by highlighting the 4 types of people you will need to rely on to help you get through anything.
This person is someone who you trust with your thoughts, usually a partner, a friend or a relative, this is someone who you confide in when you have an idea or you want to get something off your chest. The reason it is good to have this person in your life is that they give you the space to work through any frustrations or concerns, which can help clear your mind and is good for your self-care. Without this person, you can walk around with resentment, and a lot of unsolved concerns, which can cloud your thoughts and experiences.
A challenger is someone who cares enough about you to try and nudge you out of your comfort zone and help you grow to new heights. This person is usually someone who does not think like you or see things the same way you do, but has a good enough relationship with you that you will still listen to them. I get it, it is comforting to always surround yourself with like-minded people, but without this person, you can easily sail through your days without confronting life, and things can remain the same year in year out.
This is someone who believes in you wholeheartedly, this person can see the vision with you and can motivate you along. Your cheerleader will have your back even when you are not around, they will advocate for you to others in your absence which can help increase your reach and credibility. They can also remind you of your greatness whenever you are having a bad day. Cheerleaders can help bring out the best in you, as they can tap into an area many people can’t and help power you up.
This is someone who can teach you new things. No matter where we are in our journey, we all have limited knowledge, hence why it's a good idea to befriend someone who has gone where you are trying to go. Coaches don’t just exist in the workplace or in a group that you have physical access to, but also in books, and online via various platforms. A coach can help save you a lot of time and mistakes, and without this person’s help, you can find yourself walking around with an inaccurate or outdated viewpoint towards a certain topic, so it’s well worth tapping into the experience of a coach.
How to build your tribe
As mothers, especially in the early days, I know that loneliness is an issue that many face, and so some may be thinking “where can I find these types of people.” But I tell you this, the easiest way to find a coach, a cheerleader, a confidant, or a challenger is to become one yourself first. Many people are creatures of reciprocity and tend to support those who support them, and many also support others once they recognise that they too have been uplifted by someone. So adopting a pay-it-forward mentality can really help in building a positive environment for everyone around you, including yourself. Your team will come from various corners of your life, apart from the obvious family/friends/work colleagues, also take note of anyone who you come into contact with at least once a month and take it from there.
Also, when you are honest with people about who you are and your story, it builds trust and certainty between both parties and makes it a lot easier to ask for and accept help.
And above all else, be loyal to your team. Loyalty is a currency that many hold dearly and is what freely motivates many to decide whether or not to help someone. The specifics will be determined by the relationship itself but overall some level of loyalty will be the glue that holds the friendship together.